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Thursday, September 10, 2009
From Babyzimmer.de
Die normalen Naturgesetze gelten nicht in Kinderzimmern.
Zum Beispiel das Kausalitätsprinzip: im Rest des Universums gibt es eine Ursache, wenn die Vase kaputt geht. Im Kinderzimmer nicht.
Oder das 2. Newtonsche Axiom: Normalerweise bewegen sich Dinge, auf die keine Kraft einwirkt entweder gar nicht oder geradlinig. In Kinderzimmern findest Du Dinge wie Deine seit Monaten vermisste Krankenkassenkarte rein zufällig als EC-Kartenersatz im Kaufladen. Aber niemand, wirklich niemand hat sie dort hin getan.
Oder die Einsteinsche Relativitätstheorie. Die besagt eigentlich, dass Zeit nur unter dem Einfluss von sehr viel Materie beschleunigt werden kann. Du aber entdeckst einen Teller, der vollflächig mit einem Schimmelpilz-Flokati bewachsen ist und Deine Kinder versichern Dir unisono, dass sie ihn erst vor drei STunden dort abgtestellt hätten.
Auch der gegenteilige Effekt ist möglich: Deine Kinder versichern Dir, dass sie 10 Minuten Vokabeln üben. Und die sind offenbar vorbei, sobald Du Dich mehr als 3 Meter vom Zimmer entfernt hast.
Auf gut Deutsch: Kinder erzeugen Löcher im Raum-Zeit-Kontinuum (das spürt man am deutlichsten, wenn man Kinderfotos betrachtet). Auf diese Art und Weise beamen sie Materie wie Krümel, Fussel und Schmier aus weit entfernten Galaxien auf alle waagrechten Flächen.
http://www.babyzimmer.de/forum/script/beitrag.php?beitrag_uid=866036&forumsid=1&beitrag_count=1
Monday, July 13, 2009
Altes Mütterchen zum Friedhofswärter: "Wo bitte ist Reihe 10 Grab Nr.7?"
Er: "Soso, heimlich aus dem Grab kraxeln und dann den Heimweg nicht mehr
finden!!"
Current mood:  amused
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I found the perfect name for a little girl:
Chrystal Shanda Leah.
No more sleepless nights trying to find the ideal name.
Current mood:  relieved
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wissenschaftliche Untersuchungen haben folgende unglaubliche
Entdeckungen zum Thema Brot gemacht:
1. Mehr als 98 Prozent aller verurteilten Verbrecher sind Brotesser.
2. Die Hälfte aller Kinder, die in einem Haushalt mit Brot aufwachsen
schneiden bei Intelligenztests unter dem Durchschnitt ab.
3. Im 18. Jahrhundert, als jedes Brot noch zu Hause gebacken wurde,
war die allgemeine Lebenserwartung höchstens 50 Jahre. Plötzlicher
Kindstod, Tod bei Geburt, Typhus, Gelbfieber und Grippe waren
unverhältnismässig weit verbreitet.
4. Mehr als 90 Prozent aller Verbrechen wurden innerhalb 24 Stunden
nachdem Brot konsumiert wurde begangen.
5. Brot wird aus einer Substanz mit Namen “Teig” hergestellt. Es ist
bewiesen, daß ein Pfund Teig eine Maus töten kann. Der
durchschnittliche Europäer isst mehr als die doppelte Menge jeden Monat!
6. Primitive Völker, die kein Brot kennen, kennen auch keinen Krebs,
Alzheimer, Parkinson oder Osteoporose.
7. Brot wird als abhängig machend eingestuft. Versuchspersonen, die
nur Wasser gefüttert wurden, bettelten nach schon zwei Tagen nach Brot.
8. Brot kann als Einstiegsdroge gesehen werden. Die meisten
Konsumenten nehmen es mit anderen Substanzen, wie Butter, Marmelade
und sogar kaltem Aufschnitt zu sich.
9. Neugeborene Menschen brechen von Brot.
10. Die meisten Brotkonsumenten können nicht mehr unterscheiden
zwischen echten wissentschaftlich fundierten Erhebungen und dämlichem
statistischem Mumpitz.
Deshalb fordern wir:
1. Kein Brotverkauf an Minderjährige.
2. Eine deutschlandweite Kampagne “Sag nein zu Toast!” mit Werbespots
und Aufklärungsplakaten.
3. Eine 300% Steuer auf Brot um die verheerenden Auswirkungen des
Brotkonsumes zahlen zu können.
4. Es dürfen bei der Bewerbung von Brot keine Menschen, Tiere oder
nette Farben gezeigt werden, die das Brot in einem ungefährlichen
Licht erscheinen lassen könnten.
5. Die Etablierung von “Brotfreien Zonen” um Schulen.
Current mood: amused
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Improve your vocabulary while donating food to the poor. It's fun. :)
www.freerice.com
Current mood: pleased
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Kommt ein Ei um die Ecke und kämmt sich die Haare.
Current mood:  silly
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
So, here we go.
[Error: close lj-embed tag without open tag]
Current mood:  anxious
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
8:32PM
.//////..
(o)(o).....
.(__)....
..(_).....Güden tog
..(_)..
..(_)....
..(_).....isch bin en hägga aus Leipzsch
.(_)....
(_)....un diss iss en selbstprögrammirder
.(_).....
...(_)...bösartscher Combjuderwurm
....(_)....
....(_)....
...(_)...
...(_)..Da isch noch net sö viel weeß vom
.(_).....Combjuder
..(_)...iss des en manueller Wurm
..(_)....
.(_).....
..(_)...
....(_)....Also löschen se bidde
...(_)....
..(_)...alle Dadeien von de Festpladde
..(_)..
(_).....
(_)...
(_)....und schickese den Wurm
.(_).....
..(_)...an alle die se kennen.
...(_)...
...(_)....
..(_)...
(_). Vielen Dank für Ihre Mitorbeid.
/"
Current mood: silly
Sunday, July 29, 2007
What's the difference between a crazy rabbit and a forged pound note?
One's a mad bunny and the other's bad money.
Where did Humpty put his hat?
Humpty dumped his hat on a wall.....
Current mood: amused
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change.
Current mood: giggly
Sunday, February 11, 2007
We watched a film called "The Secret", and it really impressed me. Actually the message is not new, but the way it is presented makes it very understandable and appliable.
I am already trying it out in my own life and looking forward to the results.
www.thesecret.tv
Current mood: thankful
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Mom and F. are going to Rome for a few days during the Easter Holidays. They are taking the children, and I hope I will be allowed to go too. Perhaps I would meet some Italian frogs there. How exciting it would be to have my picture taken in front of the Colosseum.
Current mood: hopeful
Sunday, March 5, 2006
I want to go to London and meet the animals on the underground. It seems they haven't found a frog yet, but maybe I would find one. I'm sure it would be lots of fun to meet an underground frog from London.
Mom and F. want to go to England sometime, and perhaps they'll also go to London. But they don't know yet when they will be able to go.
Current mood: hopeful
Thursday, March 2, 2006
Hmmm, I doubt that one really should have done all those things. But it is an interesting list nevertheless.
http://rasch.homeip.net/200dinge
Current mood:  indescribable
Monday, October 31, 2005
About two weeks ago we had to take Frederick to the hospital. He was coughing, having trouble breathing, and had a high temperature. As it was a Saturday, we couldn't take him to our pediatrician, so we took him to the children's hospital. There they diagnosed pneumonia and told us he would have to stay there for a few days. Or course Mom was allowed to stay too. The emergency room staff had wanted to send Frederick to the infant ward, but they were full, so he got sent to the general pediatrics ward, which was not too busy at that time. Frederick got a large room with a bed for Mom and a private bathroom. There was another children's bed too, but it was vacant.
Fredrick got medication he had to inhale every few hours, which he did not like at all. He also got liquids intravenously, because he was too weak to drink enough. And his blood oxygen level and his heart beat were monitored constantly.
On Monday F. brought in Emily. Mom and F. had planned to send here to a friend while F. went to work, but on Monday she woke up sick too. It turned out she had bronchitis. The emergency room would have sent her home, but since there was nobody home, she got to stay. And since there was a vacant bed in Frederick's room, she could stay there. That might not have been possible, had Frederick been in the infant ward.
Each morning, the doctors came to look at the children. Since they work shifts, it weren't always the same doctors. The nurses saw the children all the time, so the reported the recent developments. The doctors examined the children and prescribed the further treatment. Sometimes the nurses suggested alternatives which they considered more fitting for the child's present condition, but the doctors always had the last word, which they seemed to enjoy. Certainly one young doctor looked quite smug after having ordered a treatment that was different from the one the nurses had suggested.
The children were released the following Wednesday. Emily has fully recovered since. Frederick seems to have recovered from his pneumonia, but picked up a cold to follow it.
Current mood: okay
Sunday, July 10, 2005
A little while ago, Mom bought a bag of "HARIBO Lakritz Konfekt". And there we found a piece of licorice we had not encountered before. It was a licorice roll with chocolate flavour outside.
We knew the chocolate flavour squares and the white or orange rolls, but the chocolate roll was a surprise!
Current mood: surprised
Tuesday, July 5, 2005
Emily is now able to climb out how her cot with her sleeping bag on. She managed to do so once in January, but hadn't been able to do it again until recently, since it requires a different technique than without a sleeping bag on.
So this means that she can go anywhere now. Because with a little effort she can also open all the doors now. Now Mom really has to watch her. F. installed a chain at the front door, so she won't be able to run outside.
Of course Emily's new skill also means that Mom will have to put her to bed several times at night, because she will try to escape first. But so far it never was more than three times, which is ok. We can live with that.
Current mood:  sleepy
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